You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
pray to the hookup gods
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
