let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
