these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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