Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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