I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
