We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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