they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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