He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
