She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize