dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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