I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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