so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
