we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
