I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
