so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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