oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
wow bdsm is so cute
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
