There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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