I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
is this the sara with the beer cane?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
