literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
