that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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