I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
