I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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