I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So much Jack, so little girl.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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