At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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