It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
PANTIES FOUND
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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