I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
