I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
