dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
