I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
