She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
