The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
