I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
