who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
you never un-have a 4some
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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