How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
