Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
