I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
