yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There r osticjed everywhere
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
