Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
