i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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