Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize