I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
