Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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