Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize