It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
