worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
