wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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