do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize