Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
