im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize