someone owes me an orgasm
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize