She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
