That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
