at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize