all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
