Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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