Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Found your dick twin last night
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
