I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize