Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
