well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i drank out of a bidet.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
