As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
